My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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