Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
