Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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