I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize