weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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