My girlfriend figured out who you are.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
