I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
