You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
