you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
