When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
