so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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