How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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