Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
