Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Little spoons don't ask big questions
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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