only if we run a train.
done.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
