rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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