He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and she was petting her beer can
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
