our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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