Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
