...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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