On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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