She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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