He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
