so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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