This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
