remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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