tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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