well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
