i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
they call him Oral-B. enough said
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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