i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
