i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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