I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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