Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
