if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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