There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
