Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
