Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
