Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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