I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
