Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
