I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
