My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
