when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
