Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
