In the future we'll all be gay
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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