dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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