we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
