Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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