and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
