who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
