once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
