i think my mom watched the whole time
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
