Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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