new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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