It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
