I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
