dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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