Please, let me fuck your mom
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
