i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
