It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i would punch a child for taco bell
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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